Benefit Believer Gifts

'My union prevented taking away our dental plan to pay for executive bonuses!'

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

"Take. Your. Time!"

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'It's simple, really. This line stays high and sets a good example for the other line.'

"It was a mixed dayon wall street. Stocks were down, but bonuses were up."

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

Give Thanks.

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

Your karma will catch up with you!

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

"If governments didn't think banks were worth saving we would not be worth our bonuses..."

Employee Benefits

"Relax - we're blessings in disguise."

"What luck!"

Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...

"What do you think it is?... It's your, fat cat bonus."

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

"I guess we'll all just have to vote a little bit harder next time."

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

"I know what I'm talking about. That battery is dead."

Support Our Apologists.

'We can't let the total lack of profits impact bonuses.'

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

'I like to start by discussing potential million-pound bonuses...that always seems to get their full and undivided attention.'

"Ignore the side effect scares - I've had both jabs in each arm - I'm getting my booster in this one!"