Benefits Believer Gifts

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

"Take. Your. Time!"

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'It's simple, really. This line stays high and sets a good example for the other line.'

"It was a mixed dayon wall street. Stocks were down, but bonuses were up."

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

Give Thanks.

Image changing.

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

'My union prevented taking away our dental plan to pay for executive bonuses!'

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

"Relax - we're blessings in disguise."

"What do you think it is?... It's your, fat cat bonus."

"If governments didn't think banks were worth saving we would not be worth our bonuses..."

Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...

"What luck!"

"The best decisions are made when complexity and simplicity meet."

Who wants to say grace? Grace! Ames! Would you please show the kids how it's done? Ok. Thank you. That's it? I could have said that! Amen.

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

Support Our Apologists.

'We can't let the total lack of profits impact bonuses.'

"Keep your chin up."

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

'I like to start by discussing potential million-pound bonuses...that always seems to get their full and undivided attention.'