Bonus Chasers Gifts

'If you're such a compassionate conservative, name one thing you're compassionate about!'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

The Evolution of the Bonus

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

Let's Celebrate

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

Gloat

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Counting my Bonus...

Business Partners' vows

"I'm not a machine, Deborah. I can't just turn my greed on and off."

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'