Compensation Chaser Gifts

'I'm a personal injury attorney. I'll listen.

"Well, I say we sue for compensation"

'My fee will be one third of the two million you're suing for, but remember, I do all the work.'

'...there's an insurance claim waiting to happen.'

'Sir, even if you were born here, we can't compensate you for your blighted life.'

"I've got repetitive strain injury after filling in my compensation forms..."

"The best thing we've ever done is to buy advertising on vehicle air bags."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

Breakthrough

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Corporate Success

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

Potter is going to go far, unless I manage to stop him.

'Brilliant job, Rafferty. Advance two cubicles!'

Redeemable Securities.

Company Performance - Bonus Scheme

"Contested elections are ALWAYS problematic...but I'd like reassure you that even though the partners chose me on this occasion."

"Fortunately, Mr. O'Brien, a sucker's attorney is born every half a minute."

'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'

Marvin P. Tisdale is plucked from obscurity and returned there in record time.

'Stand back!...She's cleared out three local stores in the last year.'

'It's quite an inspiring story. He started out in the mailroom and within two years had clawed his way to the very top!'

' I'm sick of having to use this pigsty!..What does a guy have to do,to gain access to the executive wash-room in this company?! '

"It's not the fast track I had in mind."