Salary Samurai Gifts

'Bad news, Cobley, your salary's been dumbed down.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

Decapitated coffee.

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

'I was wondering, Mr. Hartwelder, if I could be paid in money rather than stock options?'

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

"It was a little preachy."

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

"We need to have a meeting because I have the doughnuts."

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

Samurai - Accountant.

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

"We're always ready to travel at a moment's notice."

The 24/7 Samurai

'On the bill of lading it says 'humbly assembled household robots without intention to cause injury on export market'.'

News Samurai

'Today is the day that 'Black Bean Couscous' kicks 'Classic Macaroni Salad' butt.'

"It's a club sandwich. It's like sushi but with bread."

"Plan B is to commit ritual suicide."

"No, 'tofu' isn't short for 'toe fungus'!"

'Oh no, it's a shogun wedding!'

Boss, I need to go home, I have an awful toothache. I can't focus. I can't concentrate. It's like someone's stabbing me in the face with a Samurai sword. Oh, that's not that bad. Let me know when it feels more like a Ninja sword. I'm not sure there's a difference. Apparently you can focus just fine.

"Thank you for your submission! This is a notification that your rejection letter is being prepared and will be sent out as soon as possible."

'And the Mannies goes to . . . Dan Danielson for successfully carrying 17 bags of groceries in one trip.'

Shopping List

Shed pounds fast the Japanese way, without any dieting or exercise! (Caution: May cause shortness)

Hold on – is our Zoom showdown at high noon central time? Or are you on mountain?

101 uses of a dead cat: samurai armour.