Salary Samurai Pillows

'Bad news, Cobley, your salary's been dumbed down.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Decapitated coffee.

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

'I was wondering, Mr. Hartwelder, if I could be paid in money rather than stock options?'

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

"It was a little preachy."

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

"We need to have a meeting because I have the doughnuts."

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

Samurai - Accountant.

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

"We're always ready to travel at a moment's notice."

The 24/7 Samurai

'On the bill of lading it says 'humbly assembled household robots without intention to cause injury on export market'.'

News Samurai

'Today is the day that 'Black Bean Couscous' kicks 'Classic Macaroni Salad' butt.'

"It's a club sandwich. It's like sushi but with bread."

"No, 'tofu' isn't short for 'toe fungus'!"

'Oh no, it's a shogun wedding!'

"Thank you for your submission! This is a notification that your rejection letter is being prepared and will be sent out as soon as possible."

'And the Mannies goes to . . . Dan Danielson for successfully carrying 17 bags of groceries in one trip.'

Shopping List

Shed pounds fast the Japanese way, without any dieting or exercise! (Caution: May cause shortness)

101 uses of a dead cat: samurai armour.