Office Samurai Pillows

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

In basket-case.

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

Overworked in the office

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

Suggestions box in a toilet.

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

The role of administration.

'I'm sorry, Henderson - But profits are down and we have to make sacrifices.'