Salad Explorer Gifts

How to sell healthy food...

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Diner.

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Surprise in the salad bowl

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Diet considerations.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'It's the new iPed. It's a pedometer, a GPS, and it has apps that show you the nearest ice cream parlors and dessert shops.'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

Free salad bar.