Salad Explorer Gifts

How to sell healthy food...

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Diner.

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Diet considerations.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

Free salad bar.

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'