Sake Snubber Gifts

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

Rapunzel's hair comes down to suitor as a braided ladder.

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

The man who bought a sofa that was not in a sale.

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

"Lady, I didn't go to barista school just to serve you black coffee."

'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'

'You have too much salt in your diet.'

"Sorry. We're strictly store-goers."

"Ooh, I need a drink. I wish I didn't have to hide it...but I don't want the family making fun of me. Mmm...that hits the spot."

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah; two years in French oak; warm days; cool summer nights. What the heck's the alcohol level?'

"We've stayed together for the sake."

"And I got this bachelorhood award for most meals eaten standing in the kitchen hanging over the sink."

'Enough with all the strategic planning. Just get out there and kill something.'

"If they didn't show commercials, people wouldn't know what to buy."