Snack Snubber Gifts

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Student Food Pyramid

'I would kill for a truffle.'

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Breakfast surreal.

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"You complete me."

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"It's a map to the vending machines."

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

'Because it's there!'