Snack Snubber Gifts

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

Honest Vending

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

Breakfast surreal.

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'I would kill for a truffle.'

Student Food Pyramid

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"It's a map to the vending machines."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"You complete me."

'Beer? Wassat then?'

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'