Commercial Snubber Gifts

"If they didn't show commercials, people wouldn't know what to buy."

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Looks like someone found a warm spot."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

"Oh, wow! 4:30!! I slept all day again!"

My boat

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

'I thought you wanted to stop early today Ron!'

The man who bought a sofa that was not in a sale.

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

"Lady, I didn't go to barista school just to serve you black coffee."

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

'You have too much salt in your diet.'

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

"Sorry. We're strictly store-goers."

"It's okay, It's a shhhushhh...kebab"

'Black dots indicate actual creative involvement.'

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

Pale Watery

'Yeah, yeah, yeah; two years in French oak; warm days; cool summer nights. What the heck's the alcohol level?'

"Hmmm ... interesting bouquet. What is this swill?"