Safe-driving Fan Gifts

"Let's see how you do on this car quiz. How many feet does it take to stop the car if you're driving 75 miles an hour and you have to slam on the brakes?"

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Key Fob Manufacturing. In this factory we make fobs which drivers use to turn on their car. Ah, a start-up company!

'I always wanted two lips!' Why the chicken crossed the road.

'Since you lost your job you're really taking this 'taxi-driver for your kids' thing seriously, Dad.'

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

Ducks crossing.

Genetic Engineering - biohazards dept.

It's 'safety first' for Gary the goat.

Angry pensioner

'Stand back!...She's cleared out three local stores in the last year.'

"Lollipop man, dear.. what lollipop man?"

Cylinder Head

"You're carrying a spare tire for an 18-wheeler but you're driving a mid-size sedan."

'Now if everyone in Britain drove a car like that, we could save our planet!'

Witch doctor rear view mirror ornaments.

'Whoah, look! Jed's got new wheels!'

"The ideal holiday car, with a special option for when you're stuck in traffic jams!"

Finishing Line

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'

'I traded mine in for a bicycle helmet!'

"I understand your concern, but you don't have to wear that suit when getting on a public website. That's not how germs are spread."

Betty liked to use safety glasses

"Easy does it, Ralph."

'It takes 5 gallons and $127 to go to the end of the driveway, but it's worth it. I only wish it came in a larger model.'

Warning! Do not slam into this sign while chasing after fly balls.

'I have to hang up. I'm in the middle of a legal transaction.'

To the delight of tired commuters, Jacuzzi unveils its first car.

"I'm looking for a sense of security and piece of mind in a short-recoil-operated, single-action semiautomatic."

"That's right, Terri, my dad let me borrow his car!"

'Don't speed. It's better to be late in this world than early in the next. . .'

Crash Test Smartie

Keep Apart 2 Chevrons