Sacred Ceremony Enthusiast Gifts

Passover wine - 'I will buy a decent cabaret next year.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

Zumma Cum Laude

Trappist talk show.

'What, They're comfortable.'

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

Double Wedding

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

Josquin Des Press

Do you kneel to pray in church? No, we stand up for our rites.

Inauguration of Love

'...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may assume the position.'

Christening

Stonehenge Bowling

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

Swearing a Child.

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

"Dr. Rheinschreiber never does an appendectomy without music and dancing."

'Bless me, Father - I'm a father.'

"You've all abstained for at least one hour from any food and drink, except for water and medicine, right?"

"It's not fair, mum. He just waits for me to finish, and then just says 'Ditto'."

Lord Summerisle was a Big Jacko fan...

"I do if she does."

'Will you love, honour, and share custody of the remote control so long as you both shall live?'

"I can marry you, but I can't trial-marry you."

Ribbon Cutting Ceremony

'Before you get married tomorrow there are some things your father and I would like to tell you.'

Baptism in the Dead Sea