Attending Ceremonies Gifts

"And the award goes to...but then again, why bother?"

"You'll all be glad to know, Andy has lost the key to the city and now we can't get back in."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Okay.. what the hell.'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Folk Wedding

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

Zumma Cum Laude

'They call it the people dance.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

GLAD-YOU-ATION

'What, They're comfortable.'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

'Will you hold it down? This is IMPORTANT!'

"You said it—everybody heard you."

Double Wedding

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'The speaker for tonight's ceremony will be our valedictorian. Speak, boy, speak.'