Rustic Humor Fanatic Gifts

"Sure, you can camp in my field. It'll save me building a scarecrow."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trappist Monk Discord

Trump Poutine

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'What does it say, Dad?'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'More government surveillance!'

Thatched roof car.

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

How men process questions.