Satirical Humor Fanatic Gifts

'You, me, them...these days we're all someone's intellectual property.'

'I'm sure my parents will be relieved they won't have to shell out money for an expensive college.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Gee, thanks pal."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Crap from the future.

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

Trump Poutine

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Trappist Monk Discord

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."