Rustic Humor Fanatic Pillows

"Sure, you can camp in my field. It'll save me building a scarecrow."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trappist Monk Discord

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

'More government surveillance!'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

Thatched roof car.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"