Rustic Humor Fan Pillows

A plunger in an outhouse

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

10 K Tail-Chase

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Introducing...Anagraman.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

A Golden Non-Retriever

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

The Snooze Bar.

'Check out the old dude.'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'