Rural Nostalgia Seekers Gifts

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

Twitter that!

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

I've been doing sit-ups!

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

'What's the night life-like?

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

Septic Fields Forever.

The Farmer's Return.

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

"We must be in the Village."

A*se End of Nowhere POPULATION: YOU

'Boy, Mommie, I'm sure glad you're not a working mother.'

Look lively ladies! We have 2 milk poachers at 3 o'clock!

"The middle of nowhere was too dead for us, so we moved her to the outskirts of nowhere where there's a lot more going on!"

Central Valley Express

Artist Satying in the Country

'There are gonna be some changes around here.'

'Yes, it's a six hour commute, but where else could we have this standard of living?'

'Well, I've heard that you are a genius at replacing prolapses, Doc.'

Existentialist Amnesia Clinic

"Looks like grain prices are up."

'Great. You found my septic tank.'

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

"What I miss most is the mooing."

'In my day, they gave us names and milked us by hand... Now, they give you numbers and hook you up to a machine...'