Rural Living Quirks Gifts

Year of the Seagull: Scarecrow on car's top losing it's battle in chasing gulls away

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Life is great' down on the farm.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Farm Humor.

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Lamb Noise.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"They’re real."

I fart more than that!

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"I always knew you'd come back."

You complete me!

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Static cling."

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

"I'm an enigma!"

Farmers' Warnings.

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