Rural Life Adventurer Gifts

Cattle crossing.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Farm Humor.

Please Drove Carefully.

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

Lamb Noise.

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

Twitter that!

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"And when someone gets your goat, what do you suppose it is that keeps you from going and getting it back?"

Mummy?!

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

A bit of Newlyn.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

Fly-fishing. - Favourable wind and the trout rising as fast as possible.