Runner With A Funny Bone Gifts

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'House wine?'

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"Oooh... bacon!"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Fetch the Boomerang

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

Boss, we got a UFO sighting...Unidentified Frying Object.'

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

Movers and shakers.

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'This Beef Wellington is as tough as old boots.'

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'