Romantic With A Funny Bone Gifts

A bride and groom surrounded by cats

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'Your shoe's untied.'

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'House wine?'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"Oooh... bacon!"

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Fetch the Boomerang

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Boss, we got a UFO sighting...Unidentified Frying Object.'

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

Eucharist

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

'This Beef Wellington is as tough as old boots.'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."