Foodie With A Funny Bone Gifts

Evolution or Entree

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"If you two are through with your braised sirloin tips, I'll just go ahead and clear the table."

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

'Stop eating the seeds.'

'Well of course they're feathers, it's chicken soup!'

"Actually, it really was the Ploughman's lunch!"

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

Lemming meringue pie.

"Please rise."

You Will Find a Nearby Restaurant!

'This Beef Wellington is as tough as old boots.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'How's your liver?', 'Okay for now, but my doctor told me to take it easy.'

'House wine?'

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

'I don't eat red meat.' 'This is green.'

'Kitchen Accoutrements: A whisk made of pre-soaked spaghetti.'

Silly Seasoning

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Boss, we got a UFO sighting...Unidentified Frying Object.'

'Scuse me, but my chicken's a bit too tough.'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'

'Ya, I'm cool - but not as cool as a cucumber.'

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

50 Calories off all mains

"There'll be a slight delay on the filet mignon."

"What kind of mod are you in? Sit Down or All You Can Eat From The Trough?"

"Dad, when do you know if you're an adult?"

"You might try the Trout Almandine - it's just swimming in credit card debt."

"Table for three?"

"A hamburger with French fries is all the diversity I need."

"What did the Doctor say, Dennis? Sensible Eating!"