Foodie With A Funny Side Gifts

"I've notices a HUGE improvement in my endurance. Last night I made four trips to the buffet table and I wasn't even winded."

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

hard-boiled egg...

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

The Main Types of Cheese

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'The Burrito King.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

Banana Split Personality

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Jewish Geometry

Diner

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'What do you do with the thumbs?'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Baloneystini