Foodie With A Laugh Gifts

"I'll have whatever is hot, fast, and artisanal."

'Surgeon General's warning on junk food! Lighten up a little!'

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'Waiter, please bring that glass of water soon.'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

Ranch Dressing

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

hard-boiled egg...

Banana Split Personality

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'The Burrito King.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Jewish Geometry

Diner

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Baloneystini