Foodie With A Comedic Twist Gifts

We need more men --- Call up the preserves!

"How can you be out of wings?"

hard-boiled egg...

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'The Burrito King.'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

The Main Types of Cheese

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Banana Split Personality

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Jewish Geometry

Diner

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Baloneystini

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.