Foodie Friend With A Funny Bone Gifts

'In case of spare food please break glass'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

hard-boiled egg...

Banana Split Personality

'The Burrito King.'

The Main Types of Cheese

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

A Club Sandwitch.

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

Diner

Baloneystini

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'What do you do with the thumbs?'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'It feels warm enough to me.'