Runner With A Funny Bone T-Shirts

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

10 K Tail-Chase

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'House wine?'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"Oooh... bacon!"

Fetch the Boomerang

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

Boss, we got a UFO sighting...Unidentified Frying Object.'

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Movers and shakers.

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'This Beef Wellington is as tough as old boots.'

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.