Rug Maintenance Gifts

"Oh, and remember to roll up the rug the other way when you're done so it'll lie flat again."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Yardless: Please help

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

Man using to much bug spray

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Lovely dovetail."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

"The trees are laughing at us."

The household cavalry

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Timber preservation

Lazy plumber.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Product Testing Department