Rug Collector Gifts

Brian fails a random rug test!

Bug lost on rug.

"Excuse me man, but I'm a bug and this rug isn't even remotely snug."

'Where is the rest of your inventory? Why isn't there a price tag on this one? Just what kind of rug store is this anyway?'

'Oh, how utterly romantic! A hunter rug in front of the fireplace!'

Flea Exodus

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

I'm going to have to ask you for another urine sample, Mr. Fusco. This time, be sure to use the plastic cup, not my coffee mug with "#1 Doctor" printed on it.

Utility Chic.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Another round?"

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'Put down the coffee mug. I forget what you look like.'

"I wonder what this was for."

'I found this copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' under his mattress!'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'Oh Elias! It's simply the cutest bear rug I ever did see!'

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

'How old is this vase?'