Contraband Collector Gifts

"I couldn't find a nail file, like you asked, so I brought you some nail polish and lip gloss instead."

"Damn, wrong file."

'I found this copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' under his mattress!'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Utility Chic.

Doulton Canada Geese

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'I'VE GOT EYE CANDY!'

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Jesus and the Peeps

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"You get one every time you order something online."

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

"Steroids."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

Halloween.

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

The evolution of a woman's purse.

Mum's love of china had reached critical levels.