Contraband Collector Pillows

"I couldn't find a nail file, like you asked, so I brought you some nail polish and lip gloss instead."

"Damn, wrong file."

'I found this copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' under his mattress!'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Play the Trick or Treat Game!

Doulton Canada Geese

Utility Chic.

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"You get one every time you order something online."

As you like it - One way of catching fish

'I'VE GOT EYE CANDY!'

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

Jesus and the Peeps

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"Steroids."

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

You're supposed to come out. Cat-in-a-Box!

Halloween.