Plant Maintenance Gifts

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

- whilst central heating is inclined to loosen their leaves."

Gardener attacked by plants.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Allotment

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Gardener

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

"Lovely dovetail."

Man watering his plants in the rain.

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

The Garden

'That plant food really works!'

An expecting Flower wearing a 'Baby here, arrow t-shirt' saying BUD

'Now I am become life, creator of worlds."

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

F&E Nursery. I've heard that plants have intelligence. Give me your smartest plant. A cactus is the sharpest plant around!

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."