Tree Maintenance Gifts

Cutting the tree too early?

"First time pruning?"

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Must get a longer cable."

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

The Scottish Lawn

Welcome back! What a day! As you can see, our tree has been heavily pruned, but the kind arborist has saved our nest...

Tree collapse...

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

"Let's hope it'll work!"

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

Human males marking territory.

Forest rangers prevent forest fires

"Voila! Our tree-trimming drone just saved us 600 bucks!'

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"I will avenge you, Father."

"It's called being preemptive."

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Sawrd Fighting

'Isn't nature wonderful? All those sycamore seeds fluttering over our garden - and every last one of them fertile.'

'Looks like a perfectly healthy limb to me.'