Tree Surgeon Gifts

Tree collapse...

Stupid Tree Surgeon.

Accident waiting to happen - Man about to cut though both tree and friend.

'Wait a minute! Aren't you going to use an anesthetic?'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'A remarkable specimen. It's a bonsai oak but badly affected by giantism.'

"I Love Your Ivy."

"I came here to chop you down. Falling in love wasn't part of the plan."

Tree asking tree surgeon where his anesthesiologist is.

"That sliver has really taken root. You'll need to see an arborist."

''I'm not sure,' said the surgeon, 'usually I specialise in trees.''

"It's okay...It just thinks it has Dutch Elm Disease!"

Lumberjack - Yew Tube.

Sawrd Fighting

Types of Willow Trees: Weeping, Freaked Out, Post-Nap and Super-Toned.

Ecological picnic

'If you can't stand the sight of sap... go inside... this isn't going to be pretty.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"We figure out real quick who's gonna make it as a tree surgeon."

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

"Let's hope it'll work!"

Neighbour trimming trees and garden furniture.

"Just a little off the top and shape the back."

'Looks like a perfectly healthy limb to me.'

"You were very brave."

Changing house name.

Caution - Men Working In Trees.

'Tree Surgeon On Call' notice on car comes to the attention of Traffic Warden.

Take your Daughter to Word Day

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

Tree sturgeon: fish on tree limb.

Tree gossip.

'Good news, Pinocchio, I got you an appointment with a tree surgeon,'

"How bad is it doc?"

"The disease is quite far along...I'm sorry, but you can kiss your ASH goodbye!"