Equipment Maintenance Gifts

'This ladder is rotten!'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Deflator mouse

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"Lovely dovetail."

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Lazy plumber.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

When did you last have your oil changed?

Acme Flyswatters.

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

"Turn down the bass."

Horse Clean-up

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Trading Places.

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."