Equipment Maintenance Gifts

'This ladder is rotten!'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Deflator mouse

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Lovely dovetail."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

Lazy plumber.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

Acme Flyswatters.

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

"Turn down the bass."

Horse Clean-up

When did you last have your oil changed?

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

"Remember when I told you rust might become a problem in the future?"

Sharon's more of a do-it-yourselfer.

Trading Places.