Repairing Equipment Gifts

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

Jack of all trades

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

Tool Box

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Lovely dovetail."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

The world's most unemployable family

Lazy plumber.

Bob’s Museum

Computer operator welding machine.

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"Never marry an engineer."

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."