Tool Maintenance Gifts

Larry's Lawnmower Service. Relax, he comes in every spring to get his blade sharpened.

"Lovely dovetail."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

The Hammer

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

New Swiss Army Knife

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

Lazy plumber.

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'