Machine Repair Gifts

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Jack of all trades

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

Tool Box

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Motivation to work

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"Lovely dovetail."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

Ernie likes to fix things around the house. Just today he's fixed two sandwiches, three sundaes, and some microwave brownies.

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

Meet the new factory manager.

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

The world's most unemployable family