Repair Work Gifts

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

'Oh yes, Leonard's a fixit-it man. Only problem is, who'll fix it after him?'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 3

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Truck Repairs

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

'What's this £25 'extra labour'?' - 'That's for the time spent drawing up the bill'.

Unblocking the Fountain of Hope.

'I'm not breaking line. I'm the elevator repairman.'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'A steady diet of statistics isn't good for it...'

'Yes Gov. Found the trouble you needed a new windscreen wiper blade.'

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

I hate it when they start without us.

Cartoon repair

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

'Our repair success record is as good as duct tape.'

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

"People are always discriminating against my dad. At work, people say, 'clean up that spill' and 'get under the sink.'"

Danger: Men Thinking About Working Ahead

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'By the way, Alice, I unstuck that cabinet drawer for you.'

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

'Whatever you've done, the water tastes fruity.'

'There's nothing wrong with it - life's like that out there nowadays.'

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

'Howzat,madam? As good as new now and Parky looking ten years younger!'

'I don't recall ordering any repairs on this.'

But this is more than the estimate!

'I have fixed your car. That other whining sound is your husband checking over my bill.'

'Why yes, Mrs. Emerson. I have completed your estimate.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

Aviation Inspection and Maintenance. Ernie, coffee is not a quick fix for metal fatigue.

Plumber in a Thong

"Your bill comes to forty-eight dollars more than we estimated, because that little black thing with a lot of wires going into it needed fixing."