Repairing Gifts

'When last did you have your oil changed?'

'We've found the problem...'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'I'm beginning to think the definition of 'hero' isn't what it used to be.'

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

Oh dear. The part that needs replacing has been discontinued because the huge demand for it kept the factory from making other parts.

'This one's broken, I've been stuck here for hours.'

'Sounds to me like your model has a $400 repair noise.'

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'Wait...Where was I going again? Oh. That's right.'

Computer operator welding machine.

'Do you have industrial strength instant glue?'

'It's up for adoption. Just pay to have it fixed.'

'I've always wanted to see inside an x-ray machine.'

'Oh great. They're metric tools, and I've got standard nuts and bolts.'

Acme Rubber Band Co.

'My bike was making a strange noise, so I took it apart to fix it. I should've thought ahead, because I have no idea how to put it back together.'

"You're late!"

ACME repairs 'we can fix anything'

Repairing the Sundial's clockwork

I see the computer is down again.

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

Man patching up his bag.

DIY motor repairs.

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

"I can probably fix it, but I may have a little trouble finding parts."

Useful and Useless Screws

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'What home project? I just want to get a wine label off.'

'I see you finally sealed up those holes.'