It Maintenance Gifts

'You've been working with computer software too long, Timpleton.'

Computer Room.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"Lovely dovetail."

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'