Computer Maintenance Gifts

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

"You have a lot of useless stuff on your computer that's slowing it down."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Lovely dovetail."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'These computer repair people certainly take their jobs seriously.'

Lazy plumber.

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

Do you know what it means when all your financial statements are in red ink?' 'That it's time to change the printer cartridge?'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

Go on! Pick a card.

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

Computer Frustration

Sharon's more of a do-it-yourselfer.

"Remember when I told you rust might become a problem in the future?"

"Yes, tech support? My laptop was really slow, so I shot it – what should I do now?"

"Nah, it can't just be that the plug's out. That would be too simple and inexpensive."

Whistler's Motherboard

"You again?"

Larry's Lawnmower Service. Relax, he comes in every spring to get his blade sharpened.

"No, your laptop turning red isn't a new, cool feature. It's red because it's hot. When is the last time you cleaned it?"

"Yes, I know how to fix it! I watched a 12 year-old do it on a YouTube video."

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

Computer repair

'It appears to be a blog clog.'

"Am I rusting? I think one of my sections is sinking. Oh, no! I thought I heard the gate squeak."