It Troubleshooting Gifts

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

"And for my next trick, I will attempt to work on this PC for ten minutes without it crashing!"

Tech-Support

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

Wha about trying another antivirus?

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"This program really isn't user friendly."

"There was a key on my new computer that said 'All Power Off.' So out of curiosity, I hit it. Now all the power on Earth is off. How do I undo that action?"

The Boundless Blue Screen of Death

"Mom, it's a hardware problem. Dad's head is too soft."

"Well, going by the melted screen and the sufurous fumes I'd say you've been trying to download stuff off the Devil's website again."

Blue screen of death

'We need a memory upgrade ourselves to remember all these passwords.'

Unfreeze - Or Else the Laptop Gets It!

'Isn't that cute? -- It remembers you from last time.'

Kevin had a computer virus.

'Hello? Help desk?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Tossing computer into canyon.

Computer Expert

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'