Rudolph Fans Gifts

"Well, looks like someone's parents didn't believe in vaccinations."

'What else could I have done? My red nose is not that bright anymore.'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Reindeer

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

"It's a sequel to 'The Thinker'. It's 'The Blamer.'"

Mars Rover

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

Decaying corpse

"A poodle? It's sort of a dog with an afro."

Psychaitry. Are you sure lying on my back is the best way to address my feelings of helplessness?

'Rodin's wet blanket'

'But Sweety, you have to learn how to tell the time: As a wolf, you'll often be asked...'

"Maybe we can find water on Mars."

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"...maybe I'll go to the Rodin Museum..."

"Oh my goodness! You've got walruses."

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

"O+ Harvest of ;92."

'I'm the keynote speaker at the Shining Light Leadership Seminar.'

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

'At least when they shear you, they finish the job... Look at me! I look ridiculous...'

If Dogs Made Perfume

"Henceforth, we steal from the rich and provide incentives to help the poor steal for themselves."

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

'How could cute hurt so much?'

"He didn't pull through. Let's go get some ketchup."

Curiosity Killed The (Martian) Cat...

'Hip!'

You're SORRY?!! You bite the manager in the neck and fly out the window and all you can say is you're SORRY?!!

Geez!! Rudolf has put on some weight during lockdown

Father Christmas and Rudolph