Rudeness Researcher Gifts

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Avocado Timeline

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Casual Friday at the Zoo. Penguins.

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

'Dr. Sykes is very important is scientific circles. We believe he may be the missing link.'

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

'Are you sure Anderson is working on the Human Genome Project?'

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'

'I found a whole bunch of worms in the wheel wells!'

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

Parents compare buggies

"Thank you for not taking our customer satisfaction surney at the end this call. Now I can be rude to you with impunity."

"Don't call me ska face!"

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 5.

"The great thing about studying tiny things is that no one knows what the hell you're doing."

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.

'Daddy, what did you do during the post-war period?'

Two Men Having Showdown On Small Hill-Top

Penguin

"Jack, we're going all the way to Abilene. Must you ride so close?"

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."

"Why didn't you wear a mask?"

'Find me everything you can get on the fastest getaway cars.'

'He's a prodigy all right, but all his work deals with subjects such as the elasticity of bubble gum, the decibel limits of rock records and the molecular content of a cheeseburger.'

"Uh-oh...Today the ghosts are not happy!"