Rudeness Reinterpreters Gifts

"Uh-oh...Today the ghosts are not happy!"

Sock Puppet in Literature

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"I've written the employees' benefit manual in invisible ink"

Salvador Dali's cats.

Statue of Liberty

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"Whoever said 'There's nothing new under the sun' first, was a hypocrite."

Ferguson, Bramley, Osgood & Holt - Big Frogs in a Small Pond.

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

"Is this your work?"

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

'How rude!'

"Thank you for not taking our customer satisfaction surney at the end this call. Now I can be rude to you with impunity."

"So to summarise our qualitative study results... your product is like a 'rainbow of French squirrels followed by a small popping noise'."

Streaking makes a comeback, but nobody notices.

"At least we agree that buying a glass house was a lousy idea."

'Even I am going to vote for my opposition!'

'I think Pookie wants her supper.'

"Rule #1: DON'T talk about sore throat club!"

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."

"It's incredible what nonsense people will believe as long as there are others who also believe."

"Alcoholic? The way you say it, you make it sound like an insult."

'Yes you did, Mike. You just said 'perchance.' And yesterday you called me 'my good fellow.' Twice.'

'I wasn't speeding, but I did pass two cars who were.'

"Do you keep stationery here?"

'Why are you so rude?'

"Could you make your complaint about poor customer service later?"

"Tomorrow I've got to go to the dentist... I'm afraid it will hurt!"

"It was a false alarm. She was just dying to tell her friend gossip."