Rudeness Connoisseur Gifts

"Thank you for not taking our customer satisfaction surney at the end this call. Now I can be rude to you with impunity."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

Crazy old clown cat lady.

Clown's In and Out Trays.

You guys were right! Screaming profanities is more satisfying than howling these days.

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

Clown Watercooler

"My bouche was not amused."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"Keep back... I'm going to try reviving him with my hand buzzer!"

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

"I'm working on a watercolor."

Blue wine

'The U.S. of A. - Guarantor for freedom, humanity and democracy!'

"You invented a time machine to come back and hit Reply instead of Reply All?"

School of Comparative Anatomy

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

clown trophies

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

You heard of the 'drugs tsar' and the 'fat tsar'...well this is the new 'waiting room tsar!'

Ross Noble

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'