Connoisseur Of The Absurd Gifts

Boutique Gasolines

The Unusual Baker

"Hello, national security agency? Send me all you have on Walter J. Conklin."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"He was a sea rescue."

"Now you can send it."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'... But, wouldn't that be kind of like, cannibalism?'

Baseball.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

UFO and snowman

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

"My bouche was not amused."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

The Mafia Goes Green.

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

Trapeze artists commuting

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

"I'm told the omelettes here have a broader purpose."

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

The Bonvoy Age...